From Rego Park to Jackson Heights
Its all the rage
Not playing in Roseland or Irving Plaza
Not even CBGB's
But look at all the crosses lining the road
And suddenly you realize there's something going on
Get ready cause you're in a for a hell of a show

Queens Boulevard moshpit
Queens Boulevard moshpit
Queens Boulevard moshpit right now motherfucker

You don't have to be in the know
Just crossing the street at the wrong time
Or the right time but the wrong place
Or the right time at the right place
And you've joined almost a hundred lucky winners
We've had in the past few years
In my humble little borough of Queens

The Number 7 train may be an historic trail
But Queens Boulevard is where the action really is at
The newspapers call it the "Boulevard of Broken Bones"
And the music never stops
Fracture by fracture
Concussion by concussion

Queens Boulevard moshpit
In the dead of the night
A speeding car
And then you're gone
You make the local paper
And your fifteen minutes of fame
Are dipped in blood

Queens Boulevard Moshpit
Every day I walk to work
Every day I play the game

Its such a rush
Its always Russian roulette
Cause even if you cross with the light
You've still got a lucky chance
Of being mangled
By some trucker with a bottle of booze
And a stereo blasting Aerosmith

Road rage
It's a way of life
Road rage
Its so retro J.G. Ballard
Road rage
Its just so fuckin' hip
Road rage
Whoever patents a pill for it
Will win the next Nobel Prize

Don't tell me you're scared
You can hold my hand
When we cross the street
And we'll die together
Maybe someone will write a tribute album about us
And sing it at an open mike
At a local Starbucks
Isn't it romantic?

Someone got killed the other day
Never know who did it
Could have been a couple of fratboys getting drunk
A homicidal cab driver with an agenda
Or even some soccer mom
With a SUV full of grocery bags and little kids in tow

Queens Boulevard moshpit
You'll never meet your killer face to face
As your life flashes before your eyes
And you realize how much it sucked

But now the authorities are getting wise
They always do
Somebody had to get resurrected
I mean reelected

The D.O.T. stopped being pokerfaced
And pretended to give a shit
And hoping you'd forget
They dumped snow all over your local bus stop
Just a few months before

They lowered the speed limit
And put up big signs saying "Cross safely"
And who knows?
Maybe they'll even hire a crossing guard
to molest all the little kiddies

Hey man
Fuck you for spoiling my fun
Now I'm really afraid to cross the street
Because if I get if I get caught j-walking
I'll have to cough up my meager paycheck
To the boys in blue

Now its just Queens Bullshit Boulevard
Cause if you die its just too bad
But if you j-walk you're in for real shit
I heard the Autobahn wasn't built in one day either