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WISHES ARE FOR SISTERS AND STARS
Wishes are for sisters and stars
Wishes are made of dust
And so was I
A
birthday wish come true
You picked my name
Brought me to school as show and tell
Pencils and brushes made good microphones
For duets with Captain Fantastic
A
hundred near-misses
Almost down the laundry chute
Because it looked like Alice's rabbit hole
My
life spent running
To catch up with you
But somehow
Little sisters get left behind
You can't come
You're too little
Baby
Big
sisters swagger
They're the bosses
The sheriffs of your town
Hold your sister's hand
Watch your sister
Indian burns, piggyback rides
Kickball and fireflies
Tickling, pinches
Kicks under tables
Stop looking at me
Doomed and blessed right from the start
How do you love your sister
IN ONE HIGH SCHOOL
in
one high school
in one town
in one bathroom
the girls are standing
2 deep at the mirrors between classes
primping spraying teasing brushing worrying
breaking themselves almost in 2
and it's never tougher in your life
than it is in the smoky bathrooms
where everyone is looking
sizing you up
measuring coveting admiring envying comparing wishing
hoping
that there is something more 2 life than this
but
there really isn't time to think about it
2 much
because the bell is about to ring
and you forgot about the geometry quiz
and liz never passed you the note you talked about
online last night
and you wonder why
mtv
is trying to dumb you down with trl
and you wish carson daly would just get over himself
but you secretly hope that tyson beckford
(that supermodel from the toni braxton video?)
would take you for a ride on his motorcycle
but you feel stupid wishing for it
because it's not real
but then again what is
you
like the clothes at abercrombie and that's ok, isn't
it?
unfortunately so does everyone else
and sometimes it's unnerving to walk into that store
because you're almost certain
that they teach the kids who work there to be mean,
act aloof
because they think that will make you want the clothes
more
which is so ridiculous because all you really want is
help finding a size 2
but
someone in your western civ class
is always gonna have the sweater you want but couldn't
find
but that shouldn't matter
because you can smoke anybody on the soccer field
anyway
wish you could bring that feeling you have on the
field
with you into the rest of your life
like when you had to recite the road not taken in lit
class
and you to had to pause for what felt like eternity
before you remembered the second stanza
so you closed your eyes for a minute and you heard
someone giggle
and then the words appeared before you
and you spoke in a voice that's smaller than your own
and
you wonder
how long you will have to wait
until your voice is stronger
Jenny is Jersey born and bred and still lives in
Bedminster. She has read at Halcyon, The Cornelia
Street Cafe (where she will be appearing again on
12/20/02) at Atticus Books in DC and many other
venues. Her first book, RANTS, was published in 2002
by The Wooster
Book Company. |