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MOONLIGHT
I have this good-bye wrist
one small thing
about other small things
like small talk at small gatherings
I always learned my lessons the hard way
I always heard disease sneaking up on me
in the back of my mind
I always laid awake most of the night
but I’ll never do that again
I have this good-bye twist
a small difference in the way I see things
like strands of neon pulsing through their tube
A
few of the women I loved
ended up feeling sorry
because they waited around.
I
was born under a “for sale” sign
taped inside a window
behind a drawn shade
I married too quickly
or did I?
or did I not?
I have always seemed younger than I am
and I did so in the homes of others
smashing against glass
this is not a good thing I am told
by people who seem to have all the answers
I have this way of beginning things
like marrying too quickly in love
without sending some little part of me away
I always write the best condolence letters
in glossy black and white
I enjoy standing in the homes of others
when it is too late and too dark and too cold
God forgives little obsessions
or so He says
I have this good-bye eye
REAL LIFE
waiting is not living
living doesn’t wait
Ask me what that means at your own risk.
wind is living not waiting
living is not yielding, waiting is yielding
sex is living, drunk is living, grief is living
selling yourself to me is not living
buying you is not living
waiting is on hold
These are the things I know.
nothing comes those who wait
careful isn’t living, training is living
day is living, night is living, schedules are not
living
beating the bejesus out of weaklings is living to some
I
know. I know.
unraveling great mysteries is living
raising your hand
even if just to stem the bleeding
as if your heart cannot pump that hard is living
like a dog in an alley in the poorest part of the
poorest city of the
poorest country on this planet
like taking a way out because you are seduced by the
“EXIT” sign
it is the only way to avoid dying
forgiving dying is gloriously living
even if it feels like not living
raising your fist
even if just to shake it at the sky
as if the sky gives a damn about your fist
Like I give a damn!
living is being bitter when sweetness is too easy
is being gentle when gentle is too hard
fitting between this and that and the other
except when you have to wait to get there
Charlie Newman was born in Newark, NJ. Lived in over a
dozen places, now Chicago. Three books, one CD out and
another on the way. Director Dennis Goodman described
him as, "a man ashamed of his own noble deeds." If the
shoe fits... |