JEAN LEHRMAN

ON SITTING NEXT TO A HASSID
ON THE SUBWAY AT RUSH HOUR

Will you

be my husband, I'm willing

to shave my head for you I'll wear a wig

I'll even learn to cook I'll have ten kids

for you all in a row, or maybe not, how about I'll take care

of your ten kids from your dead wife

and your brother's kids, just let me stop

working for a while, money's tight and I'm tired

of saying fuck you to the world, fuck it, fuck them

50 years is enough for anyone, even warrior

women need a rest sometime

It's a world empty of men now, suddenly

a nuclear holocaust (my age)

has removed the men from the face of the earth

and I

am willing to marry you now in spite of my history, I swear

I'll be a good Jew, I'm willing to be ashamed I'm a woman

the way god says, I'm pretty ashamed anyway, but mostly

because of the paucity of men in my life, so why not

just exchange one shame for another, at least

we can all agree that I've sinned and that's why

I've turned fifty.

so I'll marry you if you'll forgive me my terrible past,

or maybe I'll just lie and say

I've been a virgin in search of the lord,

instead of a slut in search of the god

of cock and cunt and warm strong muscular arms

around me holding me and men with visions

of my perfection in their eyes. I don't know

if I can teach you how to eat me

I can show you all the toys as long as you get hard

you can make me come,

are dildos

forbidden under Jewish law?

maybe

I can teach you to work out.

Jean Lehrman is a musician and counselor recently returned to the art of writing and reciting her poetry.