WILLIAM HLADKY

LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU

 
You don't know me.

I'm a life-long Democrat,

I want to save the whales,

I hate SUVs,

I believe we should tax the rich.

But after more than twenty years on the job,

my lungs don't heave with the same stamina,

injuries don't heal as quickly,

myu knees don't cushion when I job,

one hand grabs with arthritis,

I have had a
double hernia operation to keep my guts inside.

And before you say anything,

let me answer your questions.

No, I don't have to read you your rights,

no, I don't need a warrant,

no, I don't have to question you first,

and yes, I have the right to be here.

So, if you don't turn around

and put your hands behind your back,

I and these other detectives will put you down

hard

right now.

For as sure as I'm staring at you

I'm going to make it to retirement.

So, snapperhead,

what will it be?
 

Bill Hladky is a detective in Miami. More of his work appears on Poetz 2001.