LENORE WEISS

BALLOT LANGUAGE

Some people talk in ballot language. They want you to say either Yes or No. Stalling for time, you squeeze out a few more words talking about why some stupid asshole politician didn't have a clue and will probably never have a clue even if someone handed him a magnifying glass, which only gets a pained look and you don't know what to do except to keep explaining what he said in the taxi cab on the way to the White House. Call the Scheherazade help line. You like details, want to know the color on the ribbon of a dress, how high the clouds were tacked in the sky that morning, or the taste of macaroni and cheese as it blots on your tongue. Your big mistake is in believing other people want to hear the same thing. No, they don't, mouthwonk. Details confuse things. They hide the hedgerow. If you give a shunt, whoops, there goes the entire operation. Wheels and all. Blame it on technology. Blame it on gatekeepers who need to hire more police officers to do overtime for special events. Then it comes down to, “Do we have the money: Yes or No?” Check the square box. Zip down your pants. Whatever hits you is hard. Tell me how to find happy hour. Give me lots of language or give me death.